Yes I think girls are naturally more curel than boys, they can start up some mean and hurtful things about people... and not even care how it effects that person. I know this because in middle school I was involved in some pretty bad rumors. Which were only half true, and was one of the many reasons I switched schools.

Trust is lost very fast, I've trusted all my friends at one point but now I only trust my big sister and my parents to some extent... you shoudn't be afraid to trust, only more careful about who you trust... but no matter how careful you are eventually you'll trust someone who will break your trust that's just the way things are.

I think that it is pretty much a flaw in every female in the world to think that way about themselves, no matter how much or many times someone tells them that they are pretty and what not they can't see it in themselves. I'm one of the many females who do this, my excuse to what their saying is that their my family so they have to say I'm pretty, or they don't want to hurt my feelings so of course their gonna tell me I look good, I'm cute, or that I don't weight to much...which I don't cause I'm not overweight but I could lose a few pounds, though I'd never obsess over that because I love food and really super skinny people scary me and when I see them I just what them to eat something!

Yes, I agree about the therapy thing... I've been told a couple of times in the past that I needed it... but I would rather just blurt out things about me to somebody who's not sitting down taking notes and going 'yes, I see' or nodding or stuff like that and most of them don't 'see' anyways.

I have a similar feeling about people not wanting me, mine's more of I'm in the way... my parents would have everything so much easier if I wasn't around to hold them back. Without me they wouldn't have to worry so much about money, or getting me through school because I can't go to a public school without getting depressed, and taking care of me when I'm sick which I am alot... the doctor bills are very high... I was getting better till they went crazy with my new injections upping the dose now I feel sick a lot more. Also my parents think I don't know this stuff, but I hear them aguring about it all the time, though they see me and drop the conversation and pretend everything's okay. My mom was always a stay at home mom for my sister but after I was born and started getting sick all the time she had to get a job. I try not to let this stuff bother me to much because I know they do what they do out of love... and they tell me that they wouldn't want to be without me all the time and I believe them but it still ways down on the back of my mind at times.

I'm not a virgin either... though when I'm asked most of the time I lie because I was raped and molested when I was eight by someone who was supposed to babysit me... I was terrified of him and he was my babysitter for about a year... it's not something that can be helped and it isn't our fault the only one at fault here is the the ones who did it themselves. I told my mom but I was to scared to face anything like an investigation and a lawsuit so my mom just made sure he didn't come back... still it bothers me when people like that get away.

Because of what happened I tried for many years to stay as far away as I can from boys which in result made all my closest friends girls. Though I have just now started to warm up around guys even enough to have my first boyfriend which ended badly so ya I'm not much into having another for awhile if ever.

I'm glad you don't cut yourself because I've had two friends that did... luckily I convinced one to stop and that one got the other one to stop also, but still it was a sad thing to watch happen. And at the time my mom wanted me away from both of them because they where both in therapy... she even went so far as to ground me once for a week for my very first time ever to keep me away from them which in the end didn't work because we went to the same middle school.

I'm also bisexual and my parents and school both don't know it cause I'm in a very Christian like environment, I think it started because I aways got crushes on boys so I knew I was attracted to them but decided to keep myself away from them because boys scared me even if I liked them I was very complex then... and maybe I still am. Then the next thing I knew my best friend since kindergarten kissed me on Christmas eve when we where like thirteen... after that I realized I liked girls... but I didn't actually admit it until I was fifteen. I've had both a girlfriend and a boyfriend and both ended sucky but I still talk to the ex-girlfriend like once a year cause we both go to the same anime convention and we always manage to run into eachother. It's not to bad considering she was one of my very first friends and also considering her new girlfriend is really nice most of the time so we get along. Though my ex-boyfriend is still nasty to me when we talk... so I just don't talk to him.

At times I've thought about telling my mom because she is very understanding since she gets along with people who like the same gender... but before I told her I found out she can't stand people who are bi. She says they are people who 'want both' or who 'can't make up their mind' and you know maybe she's right I don't really know. All I know is that I can't tell her now because she sounded so disgusted with people who are bi and I'd never want her to feel like that towards me. So now pretty much the only person who knows is my big sis... and well people online cause it doesn't bother me to tell them that I am.

I know that you feel like that right now and I know what it's like to want to be someone else... but we are who we where born to be and there is no changing it so I just try to make the best of it and think that there are people who have it much worse than me.

I'm seriously giving the whole positive person thing a try becuase I've been negative for to long... though there are days when I slip up and feel like I can't do it but I want to so I'm giving it my all. Like right now the two jobs that have wanted since I was very little I'm still working towards even if I'm not as healthly most of the time as I need to be to do them, I'm not giving up because I've given up on to much in my lifetime already and the next thing I'm giving up on will not be this.

I say that too, I have always tried to help people out by saying don't care what they think about you I don't... but somewhere inside I still do, even if it's just a little bit but I try to think that as long as the people I care about think of me in a good way that's all that should matter.

I think you have a good personality too, a lot of people do even if they aren't to good at showing it. Like I've had people tell me I'm nice and sweet and such. But to tell the truth if I can avoid talking to people who my friends and family want me to meet I will. I also try to avoid guys when they filrt with me... never had to worry about a girl doing that so I don't know what I'd do about that. I usually come off as shy and quite and boring to people I first meet but I'm not any of those things... well unless you don't like the things I'm interested in then you might find me boring but well other than that I'm not.

I think that everyone at one point or another asks that question... but there is always someone who loves you and maybe if there isn't someone who can love you for all of you then at least I know for sure that there is someone who is willing to love you if you give them the chance to do so.^^

I just want to say for the last thing before I get on your nevers to much. I get where your coming from and I'm here to talk, I'm online pretty much every weekend if not more cause I have no social life anymore, lol^^ I should really start working on that again.

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~Bubbles-Club
~PPGxRRB
~PPnkGirlsClub


Do you luv Powerpuff Girls if so click here [link]
I Am The Strawberry Gummybear in the Bucket [link]

Wow, I didn't notice it was soooo long... sorry

--
~Bubbles-Club
~PPGxRRB
~PPnkGirlsClub


Do you luv Powerpuff Girls if so click here [link]
I Am The Strawberry Gummybear in the Bucket [link]

Wow, that must have taken a lot of courage to post that. I respect everyone who's done a 'Shout It Out'. I'm sorry about all the horrible things that have happened to you. No one deserves that...

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.()().........~WammyBoysClub..........()().
.(^.^)............... ~Join~! ............(^.^).
c((")(")....*PokemonCrusaders....(")("))o

Aw love <3
Your not getting on my nerves at all. XD
(and it wasn't all THAT long either)
Thanks alot though. I can't really think of more to say than that because I'm bad with words but I think you get the picture.

Not too many people would comment me about something like this anyway, it means a lot.

And I have a very small social life too. ahaha.

I'm soo not a people person x3

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_<3

i wanna talk to you but every time i get on it says you logged off 10 - 20 minutes before i got on >: i'm gonna try to talk to you today so actually go to your chat

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[link] (Ramen Noodles)

That's good to know, my friends back in middle school didn't like writing notes to me because when I returned them what ever I said would take up like the rest of the sheet... that's why I try to answer everything in a sentence so I don't go on and on... like right now^^

Yup I get it, and your welcome. ^__^

I'm glad that it does, ya most people like to not leave a comment at all or just leave a one sentence encouraging comments which are always nice too... though I felt like I had to say more than that.

I'm not most of the time either^^

--
~Bubbles-Club
~PPGxRRB
~PPnkGirlsClub


Do you luv Powerpuff Girls if so click here [link]
I Am The Strawberry Gummybear in the Bucket [link]

There is a truth behind everyone, no matter how many lies are built around it...

What I mean is I do trust that everything here is true, but to the outside people see someone else. Now trust me when I say I'm not a good liar. However, who I am has made me look at myself in a completely different way. What people say can be hurtful, what they do can be hurtful, but what matters the most is what we say and do to ourselves. You say your aren't beautiful, but yet I'm not even sure you know what make you "beautiful." I think there's something in you that gives you beauty. Weither it's looks, or talent, the one thing you have a personality that is far from shallow, and would be envied my many. The one thing other guys don't like about me is that I know who I am, and I don't have to be someone else to be comfortable with that. Although that may losen the bonds between friendships, I'm still happy with who I am and what I want to be. No, I was never molested, nor raped, but I've have my pride and dignity help from me. In your past you may have been taken advantage of, I know how that is. I've been beaten before, never by my parents, but by a bunch older kids, and by my schoolmates. I've been sexually harassed (not abused or raped mind you) and, but I keep myself together, because for me, I don't need to be popular to be myself.

I've known people, who always feel like they're wasting thier life away, and they give it all up. But there's always another chance; they just don't see it. I got over this slump becuse I gave myself a reason. I gave myself a goal. I know that I may not be the most popular person in my school, or in the world, but I know I can be if I do the right thing. So I challenged myself, to be the best I can in every way possible. That's kinda why I started drawing. But for the most part, I'm happy with who I am (just sometimes not all the things I do ), and I love what I do. This is how I found my way out of my own darkness, I just wish I should share the experience with others, and that's really hard to do. The school i go to has asked me to be a mentor for one of the younger kids. Trust me it's realy hard. Of course, now that I've satisfied myself, I can't satisfy anyone else. Because my goal was to be as talented as possible, the people around me (my peers and my supervisors as well) want to manipulate me. I'm being used by my school, just a pawn to everyone. I want to fight back, but it would ruin who I want to be, because it would show that I'm not as talented as is expected of me. Now everyone has a bar set for me, not just myself, but I'm reaching for my own bars, regardless of how many people, or thier desires, get in the way.

You think you're not beatiful...I got a black eye, because I was hit with a hockey stick. Oh yea, it was intentional. I'm not like most other guys though. I didn't strike back, because I'm not that kind of person (regardless of the stereotypes put on being a guy). The kid was never punished...I don't really care, revenge usually isn't my thing unless someone's playing dirty towards me for an extended period of time. I can't go anywhere without getting a funny look. That eye represents something I'm not. It makes people think I'm a fighter just cause I'm a hockey player and I got a black eye. Heck, I'll be glad when this thing heals up, cuz it looked pretty bad baised on what everyone told me. Sure the rich...pretty...snobby girls don't like you. But it's because you have something they don't. You have a personality; you aren't as shallow, and they envy that. What you think you lack in looks you certainly make up for in persona, and don't be afraid to show it.

Girls are backstabbers eh? And what's to say that guys aren't? I know a myraid of people, hundreds of 'em who have turned on me, have been throwns out in the dust themselves, or both . There are certian people that backstab a lot, and there are even more people who follow those who they think can lead them to what they want (eg: popularity for some). I've seen the lot of them, and it makes me close up to a lot of people. Trust is a valuable thing, and it's so easy to lose.

Being popular isn't all that they say it is. There's a lof of pressure to meet your expectations and pave the way for others.

I don't really know how much more I can say. I'm not a girl, never will be. I dunno what's it's like in anyone else's shoes other than my own. But maybe, just maybe, I can help others. Maybe I can make a difference. The only thing I can say is have courage and have strength. I know I wouldn't be here with out them. I know it's tough to saym okay, I'm going to stand out like a sore thumb, and no one's gonna get the best of me for it, but I hope it'd be worth a try. Gawd, I could go on forever about life lessions, but it's not my place in someone's life to really do so. Anyways, I do hope you feel better, most epecially about yourself. I care about ya... ^^

...keep in touch

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A friend once told me...grammer is a really important part of society. It lets us know the difference b/t "I helped my father, Jack, off a horse," and, "I helped my father jackoff a horse." I then slapped him till he went blue.

Watch me: [link]

Aww thank youu.

Guys can be backstabbers, too, yeah. But I haven't run across them XD

I was never able to stand up for myself when I was younger because if I tried to fight back, or say something back to them, it would come out wrong and they would laugh at me still. I dreaded that more than anything else.
Now I'm not teased as much, but It hurts to see other being teased for the exact same reason. There are several kids in my school who don't have the best health habits or fashion taste, and I see them getting poked fun at every day. It reminds me of my former self and I want to defend them, but my lack of self confidence forces me to back down. Usually all I can hear when I want to say something to somebody is the obnoxious giggles and taunts of my elementary school peers in my head. All the namecalling they did.. everything.
And its just one of those things that, when you hear it as often as I did, you believe it.

Alot of us are, or were, in the same boat at one point in time. We know what each other has been through, and we understand each other easier.

I just wish there were more people in the world like my DeviantART friends. D:

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_<3

I dunno, about health habits (I mean, I play hockey, health habits for me is shower, get good sleep, and eat the right stuff...and wash my hands before I eat, cuz I don't want the stomach flu again ), but I thnk they're picking on the kids who are "lower on the totem pole", right? ...That used to be me once. I know why the do it too. It's becuase it makes them feel stronger and above those who can't fend for themselves. In reality, these people don't make it far in life. Their focus is to be the most popular kid in school, or to try to make themselves feel better, by picking on someone else. That never made anyone successful, never. They got no goals, or dreams, but of a place where everyone notices them as someone greatly respected, and unfortuneately, they got the wrong idea. I dunno-I mean, I do understand how you feel. I've been there before, myself. I guess the real way to respect and success is to show your talents to people. I'm not 100% sure on that, but I guess it's kinda true cuz everyone at my school looks toward me for help, and that in turn gives me thier trust. I never really try to fit in with them though, cuz they'realways pulling pranks and doing stupid stuff (the typical Jock stuff v_v; ). But I do help them when I feel it is right, and that's how i make my friends. To be honest I stick out like sore thumb compared to them, but you couldn't tell from just looking at us. Trust me, I believed every word of what my peers told me, until I realized that they don't say who I am, I should say who I am. And that's where I tool up the courage to individualize myself and be bold about it.

...<_<" soo...

... So here I am, sitting on my bed with my notebook try to give my two cents for a life I never lived.

~Best wishes, though ^^

--
A friend once told me...grammer is a really important part of society. It lets us know the difference b/t "I helped my father, Jack, off a horse," and, "I helped my father jackoff a horse." I then slapped him till he went blue.

Watch me: [link]